How to Befriend Your Inner Critic (Without Letting It Drive)
September 24, 2025
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You don’t always remember what happened.
But your body does.
It tenses when someone raises their voice. It flinches at a smell. It tightens in a crowd, freezes in a meeting, crumples in a quiet moment for no apparent reason.
And if you try to explain it, you might find yourself saying something like:
“I don’t know why I feel this way.”
“There’s nothing wrong, but I can’t relax.”
“I thought I was over it.”
This is the paradox of trauma: the mind moves on — the body doesn’t.
We’re used to thinking of trauma as something that happened. An event. A memory. A thing you survived.
But modern trauma science tells a different story. Trauma isn’t the event — it’s the imprint it leaves on your nervous system.
It’s what happens when your fight, flight, or freeze response gets activated — but never fully completes.
It’s your body staying ready, just in case.
It’s hypervigilance. Or numbness. Or a hair-trigger panic button that goes off in non-threatening situations.
This is why people often say, “But my childhood wasn’t that bad,” or “That wasn’t traumatic.”
And still, the body reacts.
Because trauma isn’t defined by the event. It’s defined by the impact.
Thuli was 29. Friendly, stable job, no big crises. But she’d started having panic attacks — in board meetings, in traffic, even at home watching Netflix.
“I don’t have a reason,” she said. “I feel safe. I know I’m safe. But my body disagrees.”
In hypnosis, the therapist didn’t ask Thuli to recall a trauma.
Instead, they worked with the body.
Slowed her breathing. Calmed the system. Focused attention inward.
And that’s when it emerged: not a big dramatic event, but a memory. Age five. A thunderstorm. Her mom had gone out. She was alone, hiding in the cupboard, sure she’d been abandoned.
That’s when the freeze response locked in. And it had stayed with her for 24 years.
In trance, Thuli didn’t talk about the memory. She met it. With her adult awareness. With emotional resources. With safety.
Two sessions later, her panic attacks stopped. Not because she forgot. But because her body finally got the message: it’s over.
Your nervous system’s first priority is survival — not logic.
In moments of overwhelm, it doesn’t ask, “Is this rational?”
It reacts. And if you weren’t safe enough to process the experience at the time — it stores it.
Not in words. Not in images. But in sensation. In muscle tension. In posture. In breath.
This is why trauma can be hard to talk about.
Because it often lives below language.
And that’s why hypnosis is so effective — it speaks the same language.
In hypnotherapy, you don’t always “relive” a traumatic memory. You reconnect — gently — with the body.
You shift out of analytical thinking and into sensation.
You notice where the tension sits. You feel the contraction. The holding. The effort it takes to brace against something that’s not even happening anymore.
And then — slowly, safely — you allow that tension to soften.
You invite completion.
Completion is the nervous system’s way of saying, “The threat is gone. You can come home now.”
That’s the power of somatic work in hypnosis.
Nico, a 47-year-old teacher, had chronic jaw pain. He’d tried everything: dentists, bite plates, physio. Nothing worked.
In hypnosis, his therapist simply asked, “If your jaw could speak, what would it say?”
Out came the words: “Don’t speak. Don’t make it worse.”
Turns out, Nico had grown up in a volatile home. Conflict wasn’t allowed. He learned to clamp down — on his words, his needs, his anger.
His jaw wasn’t broken. It was doing its job: keeping him safe.
Once he acknowledged that — once he thanked that tension for protecting him — the pain began to ease.
The message had been heard.
One of the most harmful messages people receive about trauma is this:
“You have to move on.”
Or worse: “You’re too sensitive.” “Still?” “That was years ago.”
But you can’t “just let it go” if your body is still holding on.
Letting go requires first feeling safe.
Then, processing what wasn’t allowed to move.
Then, finding a new way to be.
This is the process hypnosis can support.
Not by rehashing pain. But by creating an environment where the body finally feels safe enough to update its response.
If you notice yourself disconnecting, dissociating, or spiralling into anxiety, try this:
1. Name five things you can see.
2. Name four things you can touch.
3. Name three things you can hear.
4. Name two things you can smell.
5. Take one deep breath and feel your feet.
This sensory grounding brings you back to the present.
Not to forget the past — but to remind your body that now is different.
This is a technique you can use anytime. In hypnosis, similar principles are used at a deeper level — where the subconscious can rewire its associations.
“Will I have to relive something painful?”
No. A trained hypnotherapist works gently. You don’t need to remember everything for healing to happen. We work with what emerges, not what’s forced.
“What if I can’t feel anything?”
Numbness is a common trauma response. It’s not a failure — it’s protection. And it can soften over time. Hypnosis works even if nothing dramatic happens right away.
“Can hypnosis re-traumatise me?”
Not when done safely. Re-traumatisation happens when people are rushed or pushed. A skilled hypnotherapist respects your pace and focuses on regulation before exploration.
At the Hypnotherapy Training College of Africa, we train our students to work with trauma gently, respectfully, and effectively.
We teach nervous system awareness.
We teach how to recognise trauma cues.
We teach how to guide clients into presence before working with pain.
And how to use imagery, language, and somatic cues to support lasting integration.
We don’t treat trauma like a label.
We treat it as a pattern — one that can change when the body is finally listened to.
The world is full of dysregulated people.
People who “cope” by staying busy, staying numb, staying angry, staying small.
Not because they want to — but because no one ever taught them another way.
Hypnosis offers that other way.
It doesn’t overwrite the past.
It rewrites the response.
It gives your body a new reference point — safety instead of threat.
And from there, healing becomes not just possible, but inevitable.
Trauma leaves an imprint. But so do stories.
Next week, we look at the inner critic — that familiar voice that tries to protect you by tearing you down. And how hypnosis can help you shift from self-attack to self-trust.
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